Petting zoo. Don't feed the animals your children.

I can't tell if it was just too early or if the illness has crept into his brain...

Husband: I wonder if we can find a petting zoo with a cheetah near by.
 
Me: All of them have cheetahs.  It is totally desirable and safe to have a cheetah in a petting zoo.  Didn't you ever see the sign?  Welcome to our cheetah cage.  Please send your small children right on in!  

H: Well, in Africa they tame them and have them like we have dogs.

Me: Well, maybe we can go to a petting zoo in Africa.  I mean, forget the zoo where we've seen a cheetah before.  Sunning himself.  At a safe distance from the short walking food we bring along with us to the zoo.

H: Well I was afraid they'd be too far away, and our son wouldn't get a good look.

Me: Well, in that case, send him on in with the cheetah!  Better get a close look and risk a mauling than have to suffer through admiring them from afar.

H: The last time we were at the zoo, didn't a deer get loose?

Me: No, that was on youtube.  Almost exactly like real life.

H: Oh yeah, it got loose and was wandering around the lions exhibit, or something like that.  He jumped into the water to avoid them.  Did they get him?

Me: I don't think so.  I seem to remember the zoo keepers helping the deer, or someone helped it.  It escaped, I'm sure.

H: They should have let them eat it.  I mean "It's the circle of life!"

Me: Yeah, that would have been awesome in front of the families watching.  Small children love watching cute fairy tale characters being devoured by other animals right before their very eyes.  Everyone loves a good gory blood and guts show when they take their kids to the zoo.

That was the juicy start to our Sunday over breakfast.  Meanwhile, our son was setting up a tape measure between our cabinets and our island to do the limbo while we had this "don't feed the animals" conversation.  I'm not sure if the week has ever started in a more random way than it did today.