My oldest son starts pre-school tomorrow. He's going to a great school, and he is excited to go. I'm loving the new, earlier bedtime. However, last night I started with the panic and worry about what is going to happen. How will this little baby of mine be somewhere without me?! How will he be living life without me to stand there and guide him? What if he misbehaves? What if he doesn't make friends? What if his teacher is mean to him? What if he forgets to go to the bathroom with all the distractions and has an accident? It's overwhelming.
Just a couple weeks ago he found out we drop him off at school, and we do not stay with him. He seemed shocked and a little upset over it. He has spontaneously mentioned it over the past 2 weeks, telling me that he "won't be sad. I just won't look out the window to see you leave." He says it in a sad voice. It breaks my heart, and makes me worried that he'll feel abandoned. How do parents do this?! I mean what if he gets hurt and you aren't there to immediately assess the situation and kiss his boo boos? He is such a daredevil, and I fear he is going to have a broken bone because his teachers do not know him like I do, and won't know to keep an eye out for my mini stunt man.
Do not get me wrong, I'm also thrilled for him. We picked a place for him where we felt he would do very well. We met his directress/teacher and her assistant. We've seen his classroom several times. We've met other parents. Heck, we are even required to volunteer for 60 hours a year. We are involved, and we have carefully chosen this place. He has always loved it when we have gone to visit. I'm excited to see what he learns, how he grows, what new friends he makes (assuming the "what if he doesn't make new friends" fear does not come true), what he accomplishes academically and socially. I know he's ready, and it will be good for him. Heck, it'll be great for him to get out and play with kids who are not a baby (though he loves his brother) 5 days a week.
That was my sappy Momma business for the evening. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a fantastic update that everything went swimmingly. Now, someone be a doll and pass me a Xanax so I might actually sleep tonight.