After all the crazy rain we've had, our garage is totally full of crickets. Our neighbors are also having this problem. It's disgusting. We've sprayed them, and tried to get rid of the, but they keep multiplying. Some are as big as frogs. Between my husband, my son, and I someone mentions these buggers on a daily basis. Today, though, my husband took the cake.
H So, I went out into the garage early and stabbed like six crickets. I just went back out there, and saw other crickets carrying off the bodies, like their little dead comrades.
Me Wait, what? You were stabbing crickets? Isn't that a little overkill? What would you stab them with, anyway, and how are you so successful with these little moving targets?
H Stomping, I was stomping crickets. Stabbing them would be tedious, though would send a pretty clear message to the other crickets, I suppose.
M I was just trying to imagine you hunched over some hopping crickets with little cricket shanking shivs.
H No, I am not you. I didn't even think to make a tiny little shiv like that. That is your hobby, not mine.
M Yeah, I'm like the Martha Stewart. With shivs.