Friday, November 18, 2011

You don't hear the pilgrims complaining....

News flash: There is no "war on Christmas". If you have been in any retail setting since Sept 1st, you'd see it's more like "Christmas on steroids." You can't turn your cart around in any aisle without being attacked by a gigantic, inflatable Christmas representative.  That is actually the complete opposite of a war on Christmas, it's like being bombed by Christmas itself... or in the very least being flash mobbed by a very puffy Christmas army.  There are networks on TV with "25 days of Christmas", all Christmas play lists on the radio starting on or before (in some cases) Thanksgiving, Christmas specials and movies starting on Thanksgiving, heck I even got a Christmas card from a local business days ago!  Christmas isn't being chased off by anyone, it's getting bigger, stronger, louder, and brighter each and every year.  So where is this war on Christmas?  Even if you could find a few folks who actually get upset by Christmas, how could you even remotely believe or worry that Christmas is in any danger of being wiped out, forgotten, or forbidden? 
If there are any holiday casualties of war, I'd first go with Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving has been massacred by the ever expanding Christmas empire.  Christmas has taken over... heck, black Friday has encroached on Thanksgiving evening.  Even Halloween has been put on notice.  My husband has photographic evidence of this.  Early in October, he went to Lowes for some home improvement supplies, and there, in the seasonal section, was an enormous, light up, inflatable Frankenstein lawn decoration next to an enormous, light up, inflatable Santa.  If I were Halloween, I'd be worried.  Pretty soon you'll be able to start your black Friday shopping as soon as the kids are tucked into bed after they finish trick or treating, and soon after that people will stop decorating for Halloween altogether, and will opt for their Christmas trees and icicle lights instead of tombstones and fake spider webs.   
Now, before you start your hate mail, and start calling me a Scrooge... I love Christmas!  I really do.  I go all out.  I have a wrapping paper theme each year with 2 different, yet coordinated papers to wrap with.  I make about a million cookies.  I relentlessly play Christmas music, and I throw one hell of a Christmas Eve party where Santa himself shows up and gives gifts to the children.  I am also hosting Christmas day at my house this year.  I'm just not too blind to see that this war on Christmas crap is just that... crap.  It's not real.  It's just something people made up to make people feel angry and oppressed.  They often site "Happy Holidays" as proof of the war on Christmas... (see my previous post Happy Holidays! Because there is more than one, you know! ) People who celebrate Christmas are told they should be angry and upset over the injustice of being told "Happy Holidays!".  It's keeping Christmas down!  By not saying Merry Christmas, people are being hateful to them.  So, let's all step back for a minute and examine this... by saying a phrase that clearly includes Christmas (Happy HolidayS), you are being oppressed and excluded.... so you prefer everyone being obligated to say Merry Christmas, which excludes every other holiday, religion, and culture except for Christmas and those who celebrate Christmas... seriously?  I mean, c'mon... oppression and exclusion is only not okay when you feel it's against you?  (And remember, we've determined that you're not actually excluded in Happy Holidays, that is all about inclusion.  So if you feel like you or Christmas is being denied, you need to stop because that is absolutely false.)
So the next time you get one of those emails or feel the urge to repost one of those "war on Christmas" status updates, please step outside of your house, away from the computer, and look in the direction of a shopping center.  If you are too far away to see the Statue of Liberty-sized Rudolph on the rooftop of the mall, you should at least be able to spot the blinding glow of the twinkly lights that have been up since before you had to pack your white shoes away for the season.  Just follow the scent of candy canes and pine, and you will find Christmas, alive and well, and bigger than ever.  Nothing can compete with it, and let's be honest, nothing tries to.  So, pull the candy cane stick out of your butt, and let people enjoy their HolidaySSSSSS.  All of them, and whatever that may be, so that you may worry less about being angry about something that doesn't exist, and instead you can fill that once-angry space with fun, happiness, memories of your family around Christmas, and maybe a little too much of Aunt Edna's fruit cake.  

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