I thought I'd do something nice and paint my finger nails, as I am attending a fashion show tomorrow. Well, of course, we all know I cannot have nice things. Mostly this is because any of the 3 boys in this house destroy everything pretty in their wake, but tonight it wasn't actually their fault... well read for yourself...
Me I just painted my nails! Yay! (long pause) I really super have to pee. Booooooo!
(staring at my husband)
Him *finishes laughing at me* Wait, why are you looking at me like I can help you? For, I assure you, I cannot. Not at all. In any way.
Me No! I'm just brainstorming.
Him Yeah, I know, I can hear it.
Me Nice. So helpful. Sooooooo helpful.