Friday, November 30, 2012

Something's a little off...

Any female with long hair, and a few adventurous men will know exactly what I'm talking about here, and I won't seem crazy.  I'm just putting that in up front, because there is a percentage of you who will react the same way my husband did.  However, trust me, it's a real thing. As for the second part, well if you can't see things clearly... ah well, just read it.

Me Alright, I gotta go take a shower.  My hair doesn't feel right in my head.

Husband Wait, what?

Me I am going up to take a shower, watch the kids.

Him No, not that part, the hair part.  Your hair is coming out, or you think it will, or it doesn't belong there?  What is going on?

Me Oh, yeah.  My hair doesn't feel right in my head.

Him Should it be somewhere else?

Me No, this isn't like my hair is getting emotional about it's location.  It just feels wrong.  Like it was sitting funny.

Him Somehow, your explanation is not making the situation any more clear.

Me Well it's probably like when you pet a cat in the wrong direction.

Him Nope, never been a cat.  Still have no idea what you are talking about.

Me My hair must've been going in the wrong direction, and now it feels weird, almost painful.

Him How does it go the wrong direction?

Me *sigh* Well, kind of like if you have it pulled up too tight, or hair that usually is draped to one side is suddenly on the other side all day, and you go to move it back and it hurts your scalp.  Like at the root.  Come on, now.  Is this enough information for you?  Can I go wash my hair so it stops feeling weird in my head.

Him  Are you sure you didn't just hit your head on something.

Me Yeah, a brick wall, in like 2 seconds.

Him Okay, go wash your weird hair.

Me Thank you!

Obviously, getting to the shower was hard enough.  I've never had to work so hard for one before, as a matter of fact.  But, I still don't have my new contacts, so now I'm taking what is probably a legally blind shower, and I hate that.  Of course, there was a terrifying incident...

Husband Does your hair feel better?

Me Yes, but now I have chest pains.

Husband How did you manage that?  To go in with hair pains and come out with a heart attack?

Me It's not a heart attack.  It's a panic attack.  There was a tarantula in the shower with me.

Husband What. are. you. talking. about?

Me Well, I don't have my contacts in, so it's very hard to tell the difference between a sock fuzzy and a tarantula next to your foot in the shower when you can't see clearly.  Needless to say, it was a terrifying moment, especially when it started to move.  Was it moving because of water, or 8 furry killer spider legs.

Him First of all, I'm pretty sure tarantulas are not killer spiders.  Second of all, HOW BIG ARE YOUR SOCK FUZZIES?

Me Well I don't know how big baby tarantulas are.  They are probably about the same size as a sizeable sock fuzzy. 

Him And where would this tarantula come from, in the first place?

Me You never know with you boys.  

Him You're not right.

Me Well, at least I'm alive.  I could have been killed in there had I not seen the tarantula and rinsed him down the drain.

Him You mean your sock fuzzy?  At least your sock fuzzy didn't kill you?  First your hair is unhappy with it's current position and now your fuzzies are going to kill you in the shower.  

Me Well when you say it, it sounds stupid.  

Him Yeah, it sounds stupid when you say it, too.

Me It could have been a deadly spider.

Him Are we done here?

Me For now, unless that spider crawls back up the drain.


No comments:

Post a Comment