Every year the crickets try to hide from the cold in our garage. Pretty soon they start getting gutsy and try to make their way into our house. Of course, I do not appreciate their presence. There are like a million in that garage, and that is bad enough, but in my living room? Come on now! My kids think they are entertaining, and my cat's usually stare at them, perhaps mildly amused. Do they kill the crickets? No. They never take care of any bug, or even that one mouse that made it's way into our old house. They should probably start pulling their weight around here!
Yesterday was different, though. 2 crickets made their way in...
Me Honey, come on, I'll take you on a tour of cricket bodies and body parts. It starts on this floor, and then moves into the basement.
Husband There are crickets on these two floors?
Me Not exactly, there are most of two crickets on this floor, and then there are assorted cricket appendages downstairs. You'll have to pick them up, though, cause I don't want the kids driving their hot wheels through discarded cricket parts.
Husband I have to pick them up?
Me I don't touch bugs or bug pieces. I threw a tupperware container over one of the bodies upstairs, in case it was alive and had enough legs to jump, hop, or drag itself away.
Husband What is happening? Why are the crickets in pieces?
Me You'll have to ask the cats about that. One, or both, of them apparently went A Clockwork Orange on the crickets. I wonder if any got away to warn the others. Maybe this will take care of our problem.
Husband Maybe.
Me Of course, we are then left with the cat problem.
Husband What cat problem?
Me Well, obviously our cats enjoy dismembering things. You might want to sleep with one eye open.
Husband You are crazy.
Me No, the cats are crazy. Maybe we should take them to a cat shrink.
Husband Honey, maybe you should talk to the shrink.
Me Maybe YOU should talk to those crickets. They could point out the bad cat in the line up. Then we'll see who needs a shrink. Honey? Hoooooooooooney. You know, you are still gonna have to pick up these rotting cricket parts.
Update: There are still 2 cricket legs in the playroom.....
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