I think everyone has had one of those days where you just wake up hating everything. There is no real reason (though I suspect it probably started with some strange dream that you just don't remember, but made you angry), but you feel miserable and unhappy the second you open your eyes. Today was one of those days for me. I can't remember my dreams, so I'm going to still stick with my dream theory for this one. (I really had a dream one time in which my husband was horrible to me. He was just mean, and rude, and just way over the top. When he woke up *in real life*, I was glaring at him. All I said was "You were such a jerk in my dream." He pointed out it was just a dream, but it took me several hours to get over it, and stop being angry at him. It was like those dreams where you feel yourself falling, except I felt myself boiling over at his behavior. So this is what leads me to hold dreams accountable for unexplainable bad moods first thing in the morning.)
Anyway, back to my bad day. So I was just off to a grumpy start. Everything was irritating, and I just had the goal of being clean and keeping the children safe, fed, and getting the oldest one to school on time. Then, on the way to complete my mission, I saw something flying past the rear window of my car. Mail. My husband had left mail sitting on the roof of my SUV, so I didn't notice it, and now it was flying off my roof, in the rain, onto a street during the busy morning rush. I will spare everyone the conversation I was having with my imaginary friend as I retrieved all the, what I then discovered was junk, mail after making a 3 point turn in the middle of traffic. Just retelling this story annoys me. Luckily, everyone stopped for the crazy woman in lounge pants and purple converse sneakers, swearing at her coupon mailers in the middle of the street, in the rain, so I didn't get hit by a car to top it off.
I managed to make it home safely, but then was busy locking up my angry cats, and trying to keep the baby confined so I could prepare for a 3rd day of our friend fixing up the basement for us. The cats are angry and loud, and the baby is angry and loud, and the tools are loud, and I just want to crawl under my covers, have a nervous breakdown, and probably drink... a lot.
The rest of the morning and early afternoon are spent with me trying to find ways to quiet everything down, and find some sort of calm, but my efforts were unsuccessful. So, when I thought of leaving the house to take some food over to the neighbor, I should have reminded myself that I wasn't have great luck INSIDE the house, and even less when I previously tried to venture outside. But, I went out anyway, and that's when a dog used me to clean off his paws after apparently doing his business. All I could think was, "Perfect. This is the perfect metaphor for the day. I am now a shit napkin."
So, there you have it. Hopefully tomorrow I will not be a shit napkin, and instead I can just turn back into a human being. Lucky for me, my day did wind down with some laughs from a few of my friends, and so I do feel hopeful for tomorrow. When you have one of these days, just imagine I am holding the covers open for you to crawl into, handing you whatever your drink of choice is, and telling you to stay inside, away from dogs, because they are waiting for you.