Friday, December 2, 2011

Mother Of The Year strikes again, but now she's been working out (well, almost, but let me explain...)

This year I thought it would be great to get a remote control for our Christmas tree.  It's not that it's hard to push the button to turn it on and off, it's just I don't like to bring any more attention to touching the tree in front of the baby than is absolutely necessary (yes, we have started the "Don't touch the tree!" track on repeat for the next month or so.)  Pretty soon I had thought of other wonderfully exciting uses for this remote controlled Christmas tree.  *cue the evil laughter*

My four year old walked downstairs to see the tree we put up the night before.  He was so happy to see it, and lost his mind when *poof* it lit up like magic before his very eyes....

Me Wow!  See, Santa is watching!  He knew you woke up and came down to see the tree, so he lit it for you!

Son Mommy, it's magic!

So my one little, innocently fun use of the remote made my son so happy, and he was completely sucked into all the holiday magic.  He bought it, full on, no questions.  That's when my wheels started turning and the smell of smoke was noticeable all around me... I could use this to my advantage... he believed it!  He now really has proof Santa is watching him... let's see how far we can take this, shall we?

Later that day, my son was misbehaving (apparently, he has been possessed by some demon for the past 3 days, perhaps it's something he caught at school...), so *poof*, off went the tree.

Son Oh no!  Mommy!

Me Uh oh.  Santa saw you push your brother.  He's mad now.  He turned off your tree!  

Son No!  You need to call him and tell him I'm good now.  Tell him it was a mistake, and I'm really a good boy.

Me Well, you better get to time out, so he knows you mean business!

It's been 3 days, and he's still buying this charade.  Thank goodness that remote is pocket sized.  I just stick it in my pocket, and I can feel the buttons through the fabric and voila!  Tree on, tree off!

We have a family tradition of sending out photo cards for Christmas.  The first year was a pretty picture.  The next year, my son had a mohawk and a family member said we could NOT have that in the picture... so, of course, I took that as a challenge, and we all wore lumberjack hats in our nice holiday clothes with little happy, formal smiles on our faces.  Then, the next year it was a picture of us all in matching jammies, and my husband and I were opening two big presents.  Popping out of the presents were our children.  So, this year, we had to get creative again.  Something we haven't seen before... I think we accomplished it.  However, it may require a "parental advisory" sticker for families with young children.  No worries, it's not obscene... it's just parents should have the first look-see so they don't get a surprise reaction from their kids and go "WTF?!" and grab the card.  But, for my family who sent the "'Happy Holidays!' is how you declare war on Christmas!" emails... at least the card says "Merry Christmas!"  :)  If I could include audio in this seamlessly, you'd hear me snickering right now.  Anywho, they are on order and will be shipped out to those of you on our Christmas card list as soon as we get them.  I will be printing up the address labels tomorrow to speed things along.  Possibly offending the masses cannot be delayed.

I'll wrap up this long, Christmassy post with the good news that the elliptical machine arrived!  I had spent all day grocery shopping, cooking and serving 3 meals, doing 4 loads of laundry, logging 9 hours of volunteer work, scrubbing a stain out of the carpet, changing the kids' bed clothes, and cleaning the living room and play room, so I was very sore.  Those 9 hours of volunteer time were spent sitting cross-legged on the wood floor, hunched over a paper cutter.  My back and legs felt so painful and stuck in that position by the time I was done.  I just wanted a hot shower, muscle relaxer, tylenol, and to lay down... but the elliptical machine is a "team lift!" item.  So, I tried to help my husband get it down to our basement.  Ha.  I nearly dropped it on him no less than 4 times.  Just trying to figure out what to hold onto that was sturdy enough to carry it by took a long time.  It was just the motor part and the legs for the foot rest thingies (yeah, they probably have a real name), but that is the heaviest part and has little to safely grab on to.  After all that, I felt that was enough working out for this year, and we could just take it back.  A thoughtful friend of mine, thanks T, suggested it be my new clothes drying rack.  How resourceful!  Alas, taking it back would require taking it back up the stairs, so I guess I'll keep it for when I'm ready to move any parts of my body again.  (Maybe 5 muscle relaxers from now...)

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