The following just happened in my house, this evening:
Everyone is sick. I have pain, pretty much everywhere, and everything is stuffy and swollen and stiff. However, there are no sick days for a mom. My husband is starting to get over his illness, so he ran out for milk and medicine today. So, now you're all caught up!
Husband I brought home two fritters, and one of them is mine!
Me Ooooh! Apple fritters! Thank you!
So, I saved my fritter for after the kids went to bed. That way, I could sit in peace and quiet and enjoy my fritter while watching my Thursday night TV.
We took the kids up for bath, stories, and bed. Then, I, quite literally, came skipping down the stairs, announcing to my husband:
I'll be right there! I'm just gonna grab my fritter and a drink, and I'll be right in. I've been saving it all day!
I walked over to the counter where the fritters were, and... there. were. no. fritters!! The bag was gone!
Me Hey honey! Where'd you put the fritters? I thought the bag was next to the toaster oven. Honey? Honey? Hey, hon? *walk into the living room* Honey, where are the fritters?
Him *silence followed by frantic typing on his laptop*
Me Dammit, honey, where are the fritters? They better be here. Where are they?
Him *will not even look at me*
Me YOU ATE MY FRITTER!!! You tell me you got 2 fritters, and one is for you, so WHO got the other fritter? I even thanked you for it?! AND YOU ATE IT! Did I not just say "I've been saving it all day?!"
Him That just made this whole thing so much better. It really set the stage for the big let down. I didn't know you wanted it.
Me Why did you tell me you got them, and then why did I say thanks, if one wasn't for me?! Here I thought you were doing something nice for me, and YOU ATE IT! Like "Honey, I see how you have been working so hard, and you're really feeling sick, so I wanted to cheer you up with a nice treat. Oh, but I'm gonna EAT it before you even get the chance to get to it!" You ate my fritter. What kind of person does that?!
Leave it to him to do something nice for me, and then eat the evidence. I foresee a lot of "Remember when you ate my fritter?" moments coming in the future.