Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Why look at flowers when you can look at Johnny Depp?

This blog post is more like a "How to" (be awesome) than some sort of journal entry.  You'll thank me, though, I'm sure of it. 

My sister was feeling a bit under the weather, and what better way to cheer a gal up than sending her flowers?  Sending her a bouquet of Johnny Depps... that's clearly a better way.  #1 They are always beautiful #2 They don't need water and #3 They don't wilt and die on you.  Although, Johnny, if you need someone to wilt on, I have some free time.  Anywho.... here is a picture of what you're aiming for... (or maybe you are more creative and want to aim for something even more fancy, but honestly no one will give a shit what you put around the Johnnys or even notice the vase, so feel free to just spice it up with whatever you have on hand at home.  You don't have to go nuts.). 

You, too, can create this divine piece of art in just 10 easy steps!

So here's what you do:

1. Browse through all the pictures of Johnny Depp that Google has to offer, and choose your favorite.  I used two dozen of my favorite Johnnys.  This step takes the longest.  You may want to block out a few days for this, as time flies when you are gazing at perfection.

2. Print out, on cardstock, your pictures of Johnny.  I used photoshop to arrange 4 pictures per page, to get the sizes you see in this arrangement.  

3. Look at Johnny some more. Admire your work.

4. Cut out all the Johnnys.  I recommend being creative here, so they are different shapes and not all a bunch of rectangles.

5. Take bamboo skewers (I used 2 different lengths), and tape one skewer to the back of each Johnny pic.  Be careful the skewer doesn't stick out the top and make Johnny look like he's been impaled.  

6. Look at the Johnnys some more... Quality control, people! 

7. Lay out groups of 3, 4, 5, etc side by side and tape them together until they are all joined, forming a kind or circle.  The tape I hid BEHIND the pictures.  

8. The largest group of pictures wrap tissue around and put into the vase first, then add in the next largest, then the next, stacking them so they are propped up on each other so you can see all the Johnnys, and they don't hiding behind each other.

9. Tuck tissue paper in the center top, and tuck some ribbons around to make it look more colorful and cheerful.

10. Stare at your beautiful bouquet of Johnny Depps.  If you are feeling very generous, and can bring yourself to part with something so wonderful, you can give it to someone who needs a few extra Johnnys sitting around.  That is pretty much everyone. 

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