Friday, April 12, 2013

She returns...

I don't feel like going into too much detail about it on here yet, but I've been away for awhile thanks to a surgery that did not go well and ended in finding out I'm deathly allergic to at least 3 things, an emergency trip to the hospital for 4 days, and then trying to recover from the horrendous reaction from that on top of recovering from surgery.  The meds required for the allergy slow the recovery from surgery greatly, and so I have not felt like myself for quite some time.  I did not feel like I had anything to offer the blog, and did not feel great enough to make light of things in my usual fashion.  But, tonight a post on facebook (thanks to this boring, violent, movie in a language that is not one I'm fluent in) felt blog-ish to me, and I thought I'd post it here.  Maybe this will help me get back to my old self a little more.  (I returned to my champion shopping marathons this week, so the blog could be next!)

We're watching a movie in German...
Husband "He's sad."
Me "He's not even speaking! I can translate a sad face in German to a sad face in English." 
Oy.
C'mon Bill Maher, so I don't have to watch this bloody submarine movie anymore.
I'm pretty sure they are saying "Ow, I'm shot!" "I'm shot, too!" "I was shot by a bomb!" "This isn't even a submarine, it just seems like it cause the boat was shot... by a bomb... and now it's sinking, and now it's like a submarine." "Hey, did someone see that guy is shot?" "Hey why is everyone bleeding?" "Were they shot?" "Does that hurt?" "How about if I poke at it, does it hurt now?" "Does anyone have anymore white scraps of fabric to wrap around this guy to get bloody? Nothing shows blood better than white fabric." "Wiener schnitzel!"
 No one has commented.  I think it's either because A. It's Friday night and they don't have small kids who are in their rooms, hollering instead of sleeping, so they are out having more fun than me, or B. They don't know what to say because they don't speak German, either.  They probably can't understand what I'm saying. 
  Oh, update, now that the movie has ended!!!
 Me "Did they just hang that guy up in a pouch because they are going to space and it's his turn to sleep." 
Husband "Probably not." 
Me "Oh, did their submarine get rescued?" 
H "Yeah, they just drove home." *eye roll* 
***Air raid alarms*** 
Me "Something else is gonna blow up. I dunno, a little bell just went off in my head and said "More bombs on the way!" 
 H "I thought that sound meant it was time for lollipops." 
 Me "See, if you didn't have me here to translate the alarm, you'd be so lost." 
 ***explosions*** 
Me "See! What did I tell you! Now they are all bleeding again."